Solitude, Loneliness, and Sharing Convictions

Solitude is a skill to be learned.  It is not easy to be alone and accept existence for what it is, but once faced, it gives you, or at least me, an inner strength that makes life worth living.  I have faced this challenge in life before, and I am once again facing solitude and what comes with it.  It forces you to face demons with only your wits and grit, but it also allows time for contemplation over what is important in one's life, even if sometimes that is just contemplation.  I myself use it also to blast some tunes and get on the level of artists, whether it be rock and rollers or blues men.  I use it to read, most often about philosophy, history, and current events, gaining knowledge about what this world is all about.  Many mythological stories have their heroes dealing with their demons in solitude.  Jesus faced the temptation of the devil in the desert, and Nietzsche's Zarathustra went up to the mountain to find his way.

Yet too much of a good, or maybe even necessary, thing can become toxic.  It is easy for prolonged solitude to bring chronic loneliness.  While accepting loneliness may also be necessary at times, there is a wide world of 7 billion people out there, all of us dealing with that same human existence of remembering our past, being in the present, and able to imagine possible futures. Sharing that existence with others is another skill to be learned, and another part of the human condition.  Ultimately, Jesus came back from the desert and brought his convictions to the people.  Zarathustra eventually comes down from the mountain to share his wisdom.  There is inherent risk in sharing one's convictions with others.  Ultimately, whether you believe he was the son of God or not, Jesus was killed for his convictions.  Since I myself am not a Christian, it appears that was all in vain.  He came back to the people, did his best to teach them what he knew and believed in, and then he was killed for it.  He was not redeemed or resurrected.  And yet to me, this may be a more powerful interpretation of the story of Jesus.  It certainly makes him more courageous when he is humanized.  It may not be a happy ending for him, but he was providing an example for all, an example that has spread life wildfire since his death (we can discuss whether his teachings are represented in current Christian practice at another time).  His life and his choices, how he interacted with the people around him, mattered immensely whether or not he was the son of God.

So I, along with the rest of you, find ourselves in solitude, at least at some point in every day that we live.  What will we do with it?  How will we use it?  When we inevitably find ourselves out of solitude, in the light of day, or the heat of the night, with others, what will we share with them?  There are no easy answers to these questions.  They are the questions of human existence.  For me, I have found several convictions on which to stand.  One is the belief in my own freedom, and therefore the belief that everyone else is free as well, whether we want to admit it or not.  This also makes us equal in a fundamental sense, equally free to choose our lives.  I believe in honesty, instilled by my parents, and something I have come to appreciate because it is a way to truly express who I am without deception.  I believe in integrity, related to honesty, but also including a moral aspect.  I have a moral code that in general is a live and let live philosophy, a do unto others as you would have them do unto you mentality (I am speaking generally; we can get into technicalities over a beer).  I believe that I have responsibility to follow that moral code that I have chosen for myself.  I believe in loyalty and oppose betrayal, because having come down from the mountain or out of the desert a few times believe the bonds we build are the framework of civilization and good will.  None of us deserve betrayal because that cuts the bonds that are so important for us to make it through the challenges of life.

None of us are perfect.  I myself have betrayed my convictions on more than one occasion.  Yet we still must act in the present choosing what we will make of our lives and what that will mean for humanity as a whole.  We remember our past triumphs and failures.  We can imagine what might happen in the future.  Here we are.  Ain't it grand?